i received an awesome gift for christmas last year that i wish i had used. it is beautiful and so useful and was given to me by a woman who has since become one of my best friends. the gift was given to each woman in our life group; i was new to the group and was surprised and honored to receive such a gift. it was well thought out and would’ve been an incredible gift all year…had i used it. instead, it became an excellent dust collector at the top of my closet. how unfortunate. it was a beautiful box with a slit in the top to be used all year by slipping pieces of paper into it. these pieces of paper would have had things on them like prayer requests, blessings, answered prayer, fun times that will turn into memories or written prayers to God. i was supposed to write these things down and slip them in the box to be read…well….today. numerous things that happened throughout 2013 that i was sure to forget but when read on december 31st, i could remember. now, here i am on december 31st wanting to kick my 2013 self. oh how i wish i had used this gift. so so so many things happened almost all of which i have forgotten. don’t get me wrong…they weren’t insignificant, but when i can’t see these things in front of me written on a piece of paper – they are hard to remember. the year flies by quicker than we can blink and to be honest we can only remember a handful of days.
i don’t know about you, but when i can’t remember specific good things….satan swoops in and all of a sudden i can remember all the bad. in fact, it doesn’t take much and all of a sudden the bad is ALL i can remember. when i try and remember back, i will remember wrong or at least i will focus in on the wrong part of the details.
i will focus on things like my husband taking a job two hours away and now the girls and i only get to see him on most weekends. i focus on the fact that he is 2 hours away instead of focusing on the good – he got his dream job…scratch that – he got A job. after an entire year of living on one income and paying cash for school….he got a job!!! and then i remember even better: he didn’t just get A job…he got his dream job – head baseball coach and assistant football. wow!
i will focus on the negative side of losing the seniors. these girls which i had poured into for years…since some of them were in 8th grade. we had spent countless hours together… counseling with them, crying with them, teaching them how to worship and then how to lead worship, praying with them, and overall sharing life with them. i am the advocate for going away to college, but when it got down to it: it hurt. no they aren’t blood, but it still hurt deeply. now, if i let him, satan will cause me to focus all on the hurt and the negative, but i have to combat that with thinking on the good – i got the absolute privilege of helping to launch these girls into the world. some have flown, some have not (and those will fly again), but knowing that i was a part of it in just a little way greatly outweighs the hurt.
if i’m not careful, i will focus on all the negatives and never focus on the positives. i will forget the fun memories and feel like 2013 was a waste. i will forget the hours of prayer pouring over certain things and receiving more than what i asked for and instead i will remember all the things i wanted and didn’t get. it’s so easy to pull out the bad, but i must begin to focus on the good. now, i’m not going to be an ostrich and stick my head in the sand when it comes to the bad, but i do want to keep it in perspective.
“summing it all up, friends, i’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. put into practice what you learned from me (paul), what you heard and saw and realized. do that, and god, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” philippians 4:8-9 msg
let me encourage you to do what i didn’t in 2013 and what i plan to do in 2014: write some things down. i work in a ministry where things happen at the speed of light – so many things have happened in the ministry this year and they have become a blur. write them down! i need to write down the conversation i had with that student at the concession stand – it started awkwardly but ended with a smile (which is harder than you think sometimes with teenagers!). i need to write down that moment i got to hang out with a new student, pray for them and 3 weeks later i got to see them walk the aisle for salvation. i will write down prayers for these students… not just them…i will write down prayers for my family, for my kids, for my husband, for my friends, and for me and smile 365 days from now when i pull them out and see how God answered them or how God used me. i will get to pull out the memories and relive them. i will get to pull out the blessings and praise God all over again. i want to remember 2014. period. i want to remember it.
so, i am pulling the box out tonight, dusting it off and adding my first slip of paper first thing in the morning: i am blessed to have a new year: the chance to start off right and the hope that this year will far exceed any dreams or hopes i might have. it might bring heartache and extreme joy. i don’t know exactly what it will bring, but i know that i will remember it!
