if i was writing this i think i would be dotting my “i’s” with little bitty hearts. i was looking for a specific painting i have seen in the past of these two little girls at the top of the stairs. it has a big sister helping a little sister put on her shoes or something like that. it totally reminds me of my two little ones, but i can’t find it anywhere now. anyway, as i was searching google images, i came across this one that took my breath away:
if that doesn’t look just like my little girls without actually being them, i don’t know what does! then i got to thinking about those two knuckle heads and how funny God is.
you gotta understand that i wanted 3 or 4 (maybe even 5) BOYS….and God gave us girls. now, i know He has this amazing plan, yada yada…but i wanted boys. i could see myself making pancakes in the morning (which is quite laughable now) and all 5 of them running down the stairs to grab a few, kiss me on the cheek and jump in the car with dad to head to school.
i didn’t want girls. i grew up a tomboy: i climbed trees, walked in creeks, got dirty. i was an athlete from the time they let me touch a soccer ball. i never dreamed about my wedding day. i didn’t have girly crushes. i didn’t wear pink, or purple, or cute shoes.
and that tomboy grew up, still hated pink, purple and owned about 3 pairs of shoes….and she wanted boys!
God had a different plan.
He thinks He is so funny! God didn’t just give me a girl..He gave me 2 girls. and not just girls:
girly, twirly, pink and swirly girls!!
they are completely and totally, 100% pink lovin’, skirt wearing, shoe cravin’, girly girls. they want to paint their fingernails, wear dresses 24/7 and they try to sneak makeup whenever they can. they love anything pink or purple and frilly is best!
but don’t let me fool you: it was love at first pink blanket.
now, i’ll admit: it took a second to actually even purchase a pink blanket. hey, give me a break: i was in denial. but when mikayla came on the scene – i was completely hooked. now, i still didn’t plaster her little bald head with an oversized bow; in fact, most of the time she rocked out the cue ball look, but i was head over heels. and three years later i fell in love all over again when morgan came on the scene and completely took over. now my world is swimming in pink, purple, frilly tutu’s and little girls begging: “mommy can i please wear a dress to school.”
and i wouldn’t trade it for the world.
i don’t think 8 years ago when we found out mikayla was a girl that i would ever say that last sentence. somehow, God knew that what this grownup tomboy needed was two girly girls to change my life forever. growing up a creek dwellin’, tree climbin’, soccer ball wielding tomboy with 2 older brothers, my little heart had become hard. i was sarcastic, sharp tongued, insensitive, unfeeling. it wasn't that i suppressed my emotions – i didn’t have any.
okay, so i am being a little excessive…but only a little. honestly i was rough around the edges. i wanted to cry when people would come to me crying – but i couldn’t. i would literally pinch myself to try and cry with them. i wanted to be the softy that people could lean on, but i was more like a cactus.
all of that changed when my first little girl entered the world. God caused these two little girls to melt the ice around my heart. now, i still don’t cry at the drop of a hat, but i definitely cry which is saying a lot!!
i think the most amazing thing about having these two girly girls is that i get to teach them how to love Jesus. it’s my most favorite part. i feel as though most days i fail, but then there are times when i get to hear from others that they are really becoming more and more like Jesus every day. i love hearing when morgan keeps telling her teacher at daycare: “don’t forget that Jesus died on the cross for us”, and mikayla is kind and prays with her little friends at school and is burdened with her little lost friend and prays for her all the time.
i love to think of when mikayla grows up and becomes the woman God is calling her to be. i see a gentle warrior with healing in her hands and contagious joy pouring out. and i think of when this little tenacious morgan sinks her teeth into Christ – and changes the world. i love to picture them grown and sitting and having coffee on some picturesque porch with me.
i can’t wait for those days.
but for now, i will continue to buy them everything pink and girly and teach them how to pray and love and watch them begin to think and act more like Christ.
what a privilege to get to disciple my daughters. and to think i wanted boys. well, truth be told - i still want one…only chris is scared of three girls…but i digress.
